Be your own therapist...

Hello you little dollop of loveliness, 

It's been a while again hasn't it? Well, while you've been hanging on the edge of your seat, waiting for your next instalment, I have been doing...um....nothing really. Oh, except a little bit of crochet and a little bit of reading. 

I thought it might be an idea to give you a little pointer in the direction of working your own way through some of lifes bleaker days. I mean seriously, we don't all have time to see a therapist and we don't all want to. So where can we turn for to for guidance when all we need is a little push? 

We all have those days, weeks, even months when our everyday lives take a turn for the dark side. I don't mean to say that we're all clinically depressed or consistently sad, but there comes a time in all our lives that life just seems a little harder than usual. And, this is OK. These little wobbles are just part of the journey we're on. 

But, what if we can learn something from these wobbles? What if we can learn to find a positive amongst the pile of negatives? 

It might take a bit of practice but if you can take the time to actually explore what's really going on inside you and learn how to "check out" your thoughts, you might find that the path you're on isn't as bumpy as you thought. 

Swerve the potholes, it might make your journey longer, but it won't damage your tyres.

So, the easiest lesson I can pass on in the "Buzz Words" game. Yes, it can be treated as a game. These are the buzz words/phrases that I want you to memorize... Should, Ought, Shouldn't, Should've, Must, Mustn't I had better...I'm sure you can think of your own to add in here. 

Every time you say, write or think one of these buzz words/phrases, check out what you're saying and why. Try to think, of the Dr Pepper saying, "What's the worst the can happen?" And I'm talking about the everyday, mundane uses of the words. Of course, there are certain boundaries that we all have to abide by, laws and work policies etc, boundaries can be a good thing and keep us on the straight and narrow. But really, do we need to create more and more boundaries for ourselves so that eventually we're so controlled by them, that we lose who we really are. 

Phrases like "I shouldn't feel like this", "I should have done that", "I shouldn't eat that" or "I should go on a diet" are all to common and only act to make us feel worse about the situation. Who is dictating your life and what is your measuring stick? Does someone else make your decisions or do you make the decisions based on what someone else wants? Do you measure your life based on other peoples or what someone else expects of you? What would truly make you happy?

This is your life, live it your way.

Why should you or shouldn't you? Are you using these words to blame yourself or to point the finger, judge or dictate to someone? I personally don't think we really have a need for these words in our lives. What if we treated these words as the ultimate swear words? Eradicate them from our lives. 

Just thinking about your thoughts and what you say, can have quite a profound effect on you. Really learn to check yourself out. If every time you had a negative thought, you considered it from every angle and find what you can learn from it, you might find that the thought gets smaller and smaller. 

Many people believe that making others happy, is what makes them happy. Fine. But does it really? I believe that we all need to be selfish sometimes. If you are so wrapped up in living for other people, who is going to take care of you? It doesn't hurt anyone for you to be self-indulgent once in a while. Say no, when someone asks you to do something. Going back to a previous blog I wrote, I don't believe that any one of us has the power to make any one else happy or unhappy, it's up to ourselves to decide that what we want. 

How about if today you choose to be happy. Make that decision, right now. That nothing or no-one is going to get in the way of your happiness. Firstly, you'll learn to see things from a new angle. And secondly, happiness can be contagious. If someone asks what you're happy about, just say "Today, I chose to smile". They might not get it at first, but it'll sink in. 

You are alive. And if you have somewhere to live and know that you will eat tonight, then you are already better off than half of the worlds population. There are miracles and blessings all around you, if you look you will see. 

My, haven't I rambled today? Please tell me if I don't make any sense. I tend to just write whatever's in my head, and sometimes that's a messy place to be!

Have a wonderful day and choose happy!!