Hello you wonderful person,
I
have an important announcement - I don't know whether this is a long
term thing or only while the sun is shining - but this grumpy girl,
doesn't feel so grumpy anymore! Hooray! I truly feel like slowly but
surely, the old me is starting to show her face once more and I've even
had my hair cut to welcome this new/old girl back into my life :-)
So, what has caused this turnaround? There are a few contributing factors...
1)
Physically, I seem to almost healed. Obviously there are days that are
better than others, instead of feeling deflated on the cruddy days, I
just take it easy and let it pass, looking forward to the next good day.
This has had a great knock-on effect to my peace of mind as I'm not
worrying all the time now that I'm going to get sick again. I had my
last lot of surgery carried out on 13th February and since then I've
just been getting better and stronger, thanks to the Docs at PCH.
2) The sun is shining and doesn't that make everything a little bit better?
3) I've been having regular meetings with a Psychological Well-being Practitioner (I call her my mad-lady)
and she has helped massively with altering my thinking patterns and
building my confidence back up. For anyone suffering with any form of
mental health issue, it's so important to get help and be open to
change, and it really works :-)
4)
I have a new job. I mean how amazing is that? From a girl with no
confidence in herself, believing that she's destined to do nothing but
sit on the sofa forever more, to applying for various vacancies, to
going to a few interviews and then someone believing in me so much that
they offer me a job. Each step has been a little harder than the last
but forcing myself to lock away the demons and just go for it has paid
off. Not only have I now started my job working in Insurance but also
offered bank work with an adolescent psychiatric unit too. From
unemployed to two jobs in under a month...I must be mad :-)
So,
it just goes to show that wherever your mind's at, things can and will
turn around. It's hard work and you literally have to stare your fears
in the eye, believing that you are stronger than your demons. I know I
sound like one of those new-age, clap-trap, sickly "I can do it, you can
too" people, but it really is true. It's made easier with great support
around you, but ultimately, it's up to you. You can do and be whatever
you want.
There,
I can be a happy girly sometimes...maybe next time I'll find something
to be grumpy about and go back to my slightly controversial musings.
