Be your own therapist...

Hello you little dollop of loveliness, 

It's been a while again hasn't it? Well, while you've been hanging on the edge of your seat, waiting for your next instalment, I have been doing...um....nothing really. Oh, except a little bit of crochet and a little bit of reading. 

I thought it might be an idea to give you a little pointer in the direction of working your own way through some of lifes bleaker days. I mean seriously, we don't all have time to see a therapist and we don't all want to. So where can we turn for to for guidance when all we need is a little push? 

We all have those days, weeks, even months when our everyday lives take a turn for the dark side. I don't mean to say that we're all clinically depressed or consistently sad, but there comes a time in all our lives that life just seems a little harder than usual. And, this is OK. These little wobbles are just part of the journey we're on. 

But, what if we can learn something from these wobbles? What if we can learn to find a positive amongst the pile of negatives? 

It might take a bit of practice but if you can take the time to actually explore what's really going on inside you and learn how to "check out" your thoughts, you might find that the path you're on isn't as bumpy as you thought. 

Swerve the potholes, it might make your journey longer, but it won't damage your tyres.

So, the easiest lesson I can pass on in the "Buzz Words" game. Yes, it can be treated as a game. These are the buzz words/phrases that I want you to memorize... Should, Ought, Shouldn't, Should've, Must, Mustn't I had better...I'm sure you can think of your own to add in here. 

Every time you say, write or think one of these buzz words/phrases, check out what you're saying and why. Try to think, of the Dr Pepper saying, "What's the worst the can happen?" And I'm talking about the everyday, mundane uses of the words. Of course, there are certain boundaries that we all have to abide by, laws and work policies etc, boundaries can be a good thing and keep us on the straight and narrow. But really, do we need to create more and more boundaries for ourselves so that eventually we're so controlled by them, that we lose who we really are. 

Phrases like "I shouldn't feel like this", "I should have done that", "I shouldn't eat that" or "I should go on a diet" are all to common and only act to make us feel worse about the situation. Who is dictating your life and what is your measuring stick? Does someone else make your decisions or do you make the decisions based on what someone else wants? Do you measure your life based on other peoples or what someone else expects of you? What would truly make you happy?

This is your life, live it your way.

Why should you or shouldn't you? Are you using these words to blame yourself or to point the finger, judge or dictate to someone? I personally don't think we really have a need for these words in our lives. What if we treated these words as the ultimate swear words? Eradicate them from our lives. 

Just thinking about your thoughts and what you say, can have quite a profound effect on you. Really learn to check yourself out. If every time you had a negative thought, you considered it from every angle and find what you can learn from it, you might find that the thought gets smaller and smaller. 

Many people believe that making others happy, is what makes them happy. Fine. But does it really? I believe that we all need to be selfish sometimes. If you are so wrapped up in living for other people, who is going to take care of you? It doesn't hurt anyone for you to be self-indulgent once in a while. Say no, when someone asks you to do something. Going back to a previous blog I wrote, I don't believe that any one of us has the power to make any one else happy or unhappy, it's up to ourselves to decide that what we want. 

How about if today you choose to be happy. Make that decision, right now. That nothing or no-one is going to get in the way of your happiness. Firstly, you'll learn to see things from a new angle. And secondly, happiness can be contagious. If someone asks what you're happy about, just say "Today, I chose to smile". They might not get it at first, but it'll sink in. 

You are alive. And if you have somewhere to live and know that you will eat tonight, then you are already better off than half of the worlds population. There are miracles and blessings all around you, if you look you will see. 

My, haven't I rambled today? Please tell me if I don't make any sense. I tend to just write whatever's in my head, and sometimes that's a messy place to be!

Have a wonderful day and choose happy!!

Rhymes from my mind..

Good morning and welcome to the start of a whole new week, I hope your Monday has started off trouble free and your week continues peacefully.

Something a little bit different for you today, only my very closest friends and family have heard my poetry, but today, I open it up to the world. 

Now I know I'll never be a Burns or a Betjeman but I do enjoy writing a little rhyming verse or two every now and then. This first one probably won't go down as the happiest thing I've ever written, but it meant something to me at the time and poetry, for me, is all about touching the emotions, thoughts or feelings and interpreting it to be something personal and unique to each reader. 

So, with that in mind, I won't tell you my story behind it, I don't want to blur your own experiences with mine. 

Here we go...enjoy...

Where are you now? 

Are you near or far? 

What can you see? 

A bright light or the stars? 

Or is it all black 

and a little bit scary?

 Have you travelled far? 

Are you feeling wary?

I hope that you can't see 

the tears in our eyes, 

or how we crumple 

as we say our goodbyes. 

I hope you have memories 

and know we care, 

all we have are the photos 

of the good times we shared. 

We'll think of you often, 

you'll visit our dreams, 

when we see a white feather, 

we'll know what it means.

Love knows no boundaries, 

I've heard people say,  

and although we can't see you, 

you've not gone away.

We'll all raise a glass, 

say three cheers for you, 

you gave us so much 

it's the least we can do. 

And you will live on 

in our hearts and our minds, 

your soul lasts forever, 

but your body has died. 

Your time came, 

and you had to go, 

just remember we love you 

much more than you know.

So, there you go. My first "published" poem, set free into the world. 

The next one, I hope, is a little happier. You will notice that almost all of my poems take the same format and I like to make them rhyme. I just don't get poetry that doesn't rhyme, maybe because I'm not a literary genius, it just sounds wrong in my head. I'd personally call it a paragraph rather than a poem. 

Maybe one day I'll do a bit of research and try to understand it, but for now I'm happy being naive to true poetry while I write my ramblings.... Here we go then with the next one...

As you're walking down the aisle, 

With your daddy who's so proud, 

And everyone who loves you, 

Is watching from the crowd.

You will be oblivious 

To the love that's in your eyes, 

As all your concentration 

Is on one very special guy. 

He sees in you all that you are 

And all that you can be, 

He's known right from the very start, 

"Yes, she's the one for me!" 

It took some contemplating, 

A few years if you will, 

But as you stand here at the altar, 

All that time's stood still. 

Then your daddy looks into your eyes, 

And hands your hand to his, 

For now it's time to become a wife 

And to make your promises. 

Then quick as a flash and just like that, 

You've become his Mrs Right!

You both turn to the crowd and,

Oh, what a happy sight! 

To see the love that you two share, 

Is a perfect joy beyond compare. 

A love everlasting, a love so strong, 
In each others arms is where you belong. 

So it would seem that I can do happy and sad, aren't I flexible? 

I'm going to sign off now and let you carry on with your day. 

Have a happy week, you wonderful person!